One night President Obama and his wife Michelle decided to do something out of routine and go for a casual dinner at a restaurant that wasn’t too luxurious. When they were seated, the owner of the restaurant asked the president’s secret service if he could please speak to the First Lady in private. They obliged and Michelle had a conversation with the owner. Following this conversation President Obama asked Michelle, “Why was he so interested in talking to you.” She mentioned that in her teenage years, he had been madly in love with her. President Obama then said, “So if you had married him, you would now be the owner of this lovely restaurant,” to which Michelle responded, “No. If I had married him, he would now be the President.”
Of the over one-hundred prisoners in Badam Bagh Women’s Prison in Kabul, Afghanistan, half are there for “moral crimes” including premarital sex and running away from home. Love Crimes of Kabul focuses on the stories of three of those women (or girls!) and how modern ideas of love and marriage in traditional Afghan society landed them in jail.
In a society dictated by strict Sharia Law, the access alone that was granted for this filming is remarkable and unprecedented. Written and directed by Iranian-American filmmaker Tanaz Eshaghian, Love Crimes of Kabul sheds light on the human side of the female story in Afghanistan. Often we see war on the news and hear of female oppression, but rarely do we see women unveiled, speaking up and so candidly as they are in Eshaghian’s film. She does a remarkable job of transforming what one would assume to be a very heavy, depressing piece into a lively, relatable and moving film. Eshaghian and the crew found working in Afghanistan and the prison intensely taxing, but, fortunately for the viewer, presented a subject that is so inaccurately and under reported.
“Some of the young women’s modern ideas about attraction and relationships conflict with more traditional Afghan ways. They giddily describe their boyfriends as having desirable attributes (good looks, intelligence, etc.), yet marriage in Afghanistan is traditionally a set of financial agreements and transactions between families or tribes. Since marriage is the only way to avoid prolonged jail time, much pre-trial time is spent negotiating terms of marriage between their otherwise reluctant families.
Kareema, 20, is a tenacious and fearless Hazara whose striking beauty belies a strong survival streak. When her boyfriend Firuz got her pregnant and refused to marry her, Kareema voluntarily confessed their behavior to authorities, knowing her only hope of avoiding ruin as an unwed mother was to leverage conservative laws to her advantage. By getting Firuz as well as herself imprisoned, she has more chance of securing him as a husband, as marriage is his only chance of release. If he won’t comply, she faces years behind bars.
Aleema, 22, a fiercely independent woman with a quick temper and acid tongue, ran away from an abusive home and took refuge with a stranger named Zia. When Zia tried to sell Aleema to an undercover cop, both women were arrested. Forced to share a trial, they’re now involved in a bitter power struggle. Zia demands Aleema marry her son as retribution for getting her locked up. Aleema knows Zia could never afford the dowry of a virgin bride, and only wants her because a “shamed” woman like Aleema will be the ultimate cheap deal.
Sabereh, 18, is a wide-eyed, innocent young woman who was turned in by her father, who found her in a closet with a 17-year-old boy. Though her virginity is proven intact by court doctors, accusations against Sabereh build in intensity, and it is obvious that her boyfriend’s resistance to marriage will consign her to the cruelest fate.
A female guard at the Badam Bagh Women’s Prison in Kabul observes disdainfully that the prison is full “because these days women are given too much freedom.” The reality of women’s rights in the country is much different. With courtship, marriage and sex strictly controlled by an ideology of honor, a young girl can be arrested and jailed simply for falling in love, or running away from home, both of which are seen as akin to adultery.
Though transgression can bring ruin to an entire family, and both men and women can be arrested, women are seen as particular threats to the fabric of society, and must be punished if they stray. As a social worker explains to Aleema, “A bad husband is better than no husband…None of this would have happened if you had a husband and a nice home.”
LOVE CRIMES OF KABUL concludes as the three subjects receive Afghan justice for their “crimes,” along with explanations for the rulings. Asked what will happen if people in Afghanistan are allowed to act on their desires, one judge replies, “Society’s order will be ruined.” (repost from Robert Seidman)
The Alliance for International Women’s Rights needs volunteer teachers to work with individual women in Kandahar, Afghanistan via Skype. Primarily ESL/EFL work. Please contact me if you would like more details or CLICK HERE for more info.
The Alliance for International Women’s Rights is a “non-profit organization with a mission of supporting women leaders and future women leaders in Central Asia. [They] do this by creating connections between Central Asian women and professionals in developed countries who would like to use their skills to further women’s rights.”
AIWR was found by another Princeton in Asia Alum, Lisa Herb. Lisa taught at Assumption University in Bangkok, Thailand with PiA and spent two years in Mongolia. She attended Cornell’s Law School and studied with them in Paris. Check out this Anti 9-to-5 interview with Lisa.
AIWR is currently working in Afghanistan, Kazakhstan and Mongolia. For the women in Kandahar, getting to the center alone involves much risk. They deserve the support of solid (and interesting!) female educators. This is an extremely worthy cause and organization. If you are qualified or know anyone who is, please consider applying!
“….a girl of nine married to a Saudi man died three days after her wedding. Instead of demanding an investigation of this scandalous situation, her parents hastened to apologize to the husband, as if trying to make amends for defective merchandise, and even offered him, in exchange, the dead child’s seven-year-old sister.”
“There is even a tribal proverb that says, ‘To guarantee a happy marriage, marry a nine-year-old girl.’”
I am Nujood, Age 10 Divorced is the true story of a young Yemeni girl who is married off by her family to a man over three times her age. Nujood’s is a remarkable story in that she is a fighter. In a strict, tribal and Muslim society this young girl let go of all cultural pressures and norms and stood up for herself, for justice. She went from child bride to abused wife to divorcee to women’s right activist to internationally acclaimed Glamour Women of the Year (with the likes of Hilary Clinton, Condoleeza Rice and Nicole Kidman). All by the third grade.
After the divorce, Nujood chose to live again with her family in Yemen and attend school in hopes of becoming a lawyer like the one that helped her win her case. While she was granted a divorce, rejoined her family and went back to school, things remain challenging. It has taken time for her family, especially the men to accept her. She supports them with her book royalties, so that’s likely why her brothers now treat her well. Her community was frustrated with the international spotlight. Some saw this as showing Yemen in a negative light rather than the progressive victory I view it to be. “Nujood’s rebellion, honorable in our eyes, is moreover considered by conservatives as an outrageous affront, punishable, according to extremists, by a murderous ‘honor crime’.”
Still, her story and book have been the inspiration for other young women…children really…to step forward and demand divorce. The book has been translated into 18 different languages. It has broken down a wall within Yemen and across the Middle East revealing child brides, abuse, rape.. young girls being striped of a voice before they even have a chance to develop their own.
“Nujood’s divorce kicked down a closed door. … A recent study revealed that more than half the girls in Yemen get married before the age of eighteen.”
To attend school and have a choice will result in girls changing the fabric of their culture. Providing young women education and a chance to live and grow is not only about human rights and morality, it has a profound impact on the world. Does it take some time and foresight? Of course. But doesn’t anything that is worthwhile?
See TheGirlEffect.
In Nicolas Kristof’s Op-Ed Divorce Before Puberty he concluded: “The United States last month announced $150 million in military assistance for Yemen to fight extremists. In contrast, it costs just $50 to send a girl to public school for a year — and little girls like Nujood may prove more effective than missiles at defeating terrorists.” The more I read about cultural and social issues surrounding gender…the more I see where energy, at least my energy, should be focused. Nujood is the inspiration needed within a culture. Little, strong, determined girls like her are the foundation of a more peaceful world.
“Nujood’s story carries a message of hope. In this country of the Arabian Peninsula, where the marriage of little girls draws on traditions that until now have seemed unshakable, her unbelievable act of bravery has encouraged other small voices to speak out against their husbands. After Nujood’s day in court, two other girls—Arwa, nine years old, and Rym, twelve—also undertook the legal struggle to break their barbaric bonds of matrimony. In neighboring Saudi Arabia, one year after Nujood’s historic court case, an eight-year-old Saudi girl married off by her father to a man in his fifties successfully sued for divorce—the first time such a time has happened in that ultraconservative country.”
